Black Velvet Ribbon by Maud Lavin

Prequel

You know the original folklore version of the Black Velvet Ribbon story. How in a previous century, one of bustles and lace, a gentleman fell in love with a beautiful, vivacious lady. He wooed her, courted her, eventually wed her. He loved everything about her except the black velvet ribbon she wore around her neck and never took off. He was not to touch it nor ask about it. He became obsessed. One night as she slept, he took a pair of scissors and—no, the ending is too terrible to detail. You remember though. Her head, rolling on the floor. Once you hear it, you can never forget. The story echoes today, but in a different, some might say more just,form.

Black Velvet Ribbon, Version 2

On a late-summer day, she decided to pick some corn for dinner. She stopped for a minute in the garden, her fingers feeling the green husks, firm over the cobs, the smooth silks. Stroking the silks reminded her of touching the pleasing skin over a rounded stomach.

Barefoot, she carried the ears back to the house, thinking she’d miss this sensation on her feet when they turned the lawn back into meadow. But it was time. The earth was already burning.

She wore her butterscotch t-shirt and Hanes oversize blackshorts, which matched the black velvet ribbon around her neck.

When her husband came home, the air conditioner was off and the kitchen was warm and smelled of fresh husks. She was shucking the corn. She didn’t want him touching it. He didn’t. He pointed to her black velvet ribbon.

‘What’s this? I’ve never seen it before.’

She turned to watch him. ‘Aren’t you hot?’

‘Hmm, no. Been in the air-conditioned car.’

‘Ah.’ She stood up to kiss him hello.

‘Aren’t we getting a little old for shorts?’ he said, giving her stomach a pat.

‘Why don’t you pull the bow on the velvet ribbon and see what happens,’ she offered, still holding a husk with silks attached in one hand. She looked him right in the eye while he did it, facing her, his hands working behind her neck as he freed the ribbon.

‘Goodbye,’ she said.

His head rolled off.

She placed it in the pot where the water was boiling for the corn.

*This article was originally published in the women's humor journal Funny Pearls : https://funnypearls.com/2022/08/velvet-ribbon-lavin/。

黑丝绒缎带 - 莫德 · 拉文

前传

你应该知道民间故事黑丝绒缎带最初的版本。在上个世纪，一个充满喧嚣和蕾丝花边的年代，一位绅士如何爱上一位可人的淑女。绅士追求淑女，向她求爱，并最终娶到了她。绅士喜欢妻子的一切，除了她脖子上那条从来没有取下来过的黑丝绒缎带。他不能碰这条缎带，也不能向妻子询问有关这条缎带的任何问题。这却让他对这条缎带着迷了。一天晚上，当妻子睡着后，绅士拿起了一把剪刀——不，结局太可怕了，让人不忍详述。但你还是记得的。妻子的头，在地上滚动的画面。只要你听过一次，就无法忘记这个故事。今天，这个故事仍然在回响，形式虽然不同了，但也许更加合理。

黑丝绒缎带，第 2 版

在夏末的一天，妻子决定摘些玉米做晚饭。她在花园里逗留了一会儿，手指感受着那绿色的谷壳，那坚硬的玉米棒，那柔顺的长须。抚摸玉米的长须让她回想起抚摩圆滚滚的肚皮上面，令人舒适的皮肤。

她光着脚把玉米穗带回屋子里，想着她会怀念脚上的这种感受，这种当他们把草坪变回草地的感受。但现在是时候了。土地已经燃烧起来。

她穿着的奶油糖果色 T 恤和恒适牌超大黑色短裤，与她脖子上的黑丝绒缎带相得益彰。

当她的丈夫到家时，家里的空调已经关了，厨房里很暖和，还散发着新鲜谷壳的味道。她正在剥玉米。她不想让丈夫碰她手上的玉米，他也没有碰。丈夫指着她脖子上的黑丝绒缎带。

“ 这是什么？我以前从没见过。”

她转身看着他。 “你不热吗？”

“嗯，不。在车里开了空调。”

“啊。” 她站起来亲吻着他打招呼。

“短裤对于我们这个年纪是不是过头了？”他说道，拍了拍妻子的肚子。

“你为什么不拉一下丝绒缎带上的蝴蝶结，看看会发生什么，”妻子向丈夫提出，一只手仍然拿着一颗裹着长须的谷壳。当丈夫这样做时，她直视着他的眼睛。他面对着她，当他解开缎带时，他的手在她的脖子后面做动作。

“再见，”她说。

他的头滚了下来。

她把他的头放进了煮玉米的沸锅里。

注：文章最初发表在线上女性幽默杂志《幽默珍珠 Funny Pearls 》: https://funnypearls.com/2022/08/velvet-ribbon-lavin/。

* * *

Black Velvet Ribbon by Tan Yubing

Version 3

There are two main battlefields for a married couple - the bedroom and the kitchen. The original folktale of the black velvet ribbon took place in the bedroom; the second one, which Maud wrote, took place in the kitchen.

What I am going to do, is to move back to the bedroom - a story about mending. Having sex with the husband, cooking for him, and then, mending him. A wife’s unpaid common work.

This version is girl Frankenstein composing her husband, or Eve fabricating Adam.

The black velvet ribbon story is about intimacy; however, the dark(true) side of intimacy- trust, doubts, revenge, punishments, manipulations, sexuality, and secrets.

Although the new scene is about mending, any married couple knows that mending a relationship has nothing to do with making it the same as before; a mended relationship is covered with numerous scars.

The last question is - which is a more horrible nightmare? The wife eventually killing her husband, or her waking up the next morning and found herself still having to live with him?

黑丝绒缎带 - 谭昱冰

第  3  版

每对夫妇都有两个最主要的战场: 一个是卧室，另一个是厨房。黑丝绒缎带最初的版本就发生在卧室；而莫德 · 拉文撰写的第二个版本，则发生在厨房。

我现在要做的是，把战场重新转移回卧室: 一个关于修补的故事。和丈夫做爱，给他做饭，最后，修补他。作为妻子，没有薪水回报的免费劳动。

这个版本的故事，是女版弗兰肯斯坦拼接她的丈夫，或者是夏娃制作她的亚当。

黑丝绒缎带是一个关于亲密关系的故事，但却是亲密关系的黑暗面（也更真实的一面）: 关于信任，怀疑，复仇，惩罚，规训，性欲，还有秘密。

虽然这次的新场景是关于修补，但任何一对夫妇都知道修补一段关系不是意味着变得像从前那样完好如初；一段修补过的关系总是满目疮痍。

终极的问题是 :  哪种结局是更让人恐惧的噩梦？是妻子最终杀死了自己的丈夫；还是妻子第二天醒来，发现还要和丈夫继续生活下去。

This work is published at: https://www.icebreakerslit.com/black-velvet-ribbon